Those Who'll Never Be
by chappy-chan
Summary: Gooood Morning Isshin! Ichigo shouted and launched himself at his father. Karakura Town, School, Seireitei and yes, even the Hueco Mundo was affected by this chaos: OOCness. What happens when A LOT of OOCness takes over the characters?
1. Wake up Ichigo!

Hi Everyone!

Some of you might know me from the story "50 Year Old Memories". (feel free to check it out, its still in progress though)

OK, first of all let me introduce this new fanfic to you! Well, it's not an intro, it's a warning really:

"Those who'll Never be..." is a story based entirely on OOCness. The purpose of this story is to make the characters really bizarre and, well, give them characteristics that scare the living (-beep-) out of _some _people... -shiver- But hey, I think it's funny. (in a creepy kind of way) All the people I have asked to review bfore submitting said it is hilarious and I should give it a try.

Soooooo lets get on with it!

* * *

It was early in the morning and silence filled the Kurosaki residence. The clinic was empty and outside the sun was just beginning to peek over the rim of the horizon. Karakura town was still, only few people getting to work were seen walking on sidewalks or driving their cars. 

Ichigo turned in his sleep. He was having a surprisingly pink dream about chappy the bunny, much to his delight. I mean, could you blame him for being a huge fan of Soul Society's most famous bunny? (and the most popular Soul Candy top too... anyway) Just as he was about to reach the ultimate bunny mountain his dreams were interrupted by a loud knock.

And another... And another...

"Ichigo... It's time to get up." Isshin Kurosaki said as cool as ever.

Ichigo's eyes fluttered open, he sat up and stretched his arms. He tilted his head to the side and looked at his alarm-clock. 6:00am in the morning. After a long and well deserved yawn he stood up and opened the door, only to face his father, arms crossed and feet tapping on the florr.

"Gooood Morning Isshin!" Ichigo launched himself at his _beloved _father, only to be kicked straight in the face. He kneeled down and held his face in pain. His eyes turned wide and sparkly, and a fake river of tears ran down his face. Isshin Kurosaki looked at his son and rolled his eyes.

"Idiot, I told you not to jump at me in the morning! Or any other time during day! You have to stop this "Bonding Session" thing of yours. Do you want your sisters to wake up?" Isshin helped Ichigo off the floor and shoved him back in his room. He closed the door and left.

Ichigo stared at the door for another minute (half hoping his father would come back in and apologize) but when he decided it wouldn't open any time soon he shrugged, turned around, got dressed and washed up.

After checking that he looked OK (A/N: oh, this is getting scary) he carefully tiptoed out of his room, careful not to wake his sisters. Once he got past their room and detected no signs of movement from inside, he skipped down the stairs and into the dining room. He sat down at the table and stared into space when he noticed that Yuzu was sitting opposite him, awake, dressed, and ready to start her day. She didn't pay him any attention, instead she kept looking at her empty plate.

"Good morning Yuzu!" Ichigo shouted and waved at his sister. She looked at him and nodded, then turned away to continue staring at her plate.

"Hey, Karin! I thought you said you were making pancakes today... Today!!" Yuzu called toward the kitchen. Ichigo mentally shook his head. Yuzu was always so moody.

Karin came skipping out of the kitchen, a plate with a big stack of pancakes in her hands. She smiled in Ichigo's direction and headed toward the table. She placed the plate gently on the table to make sure her "Great tower of Pancakes" won't collapse. She lifted some pancakes off the top of her tower and placed them on Yuzu's plate. In return, Yuzu took her fork and started to poke her pancakes while glaring at them suspiciously.

"Aww, come on Yuzu, you have to eat! After all, breakfast is the most important meal of the day!" Karin told her sister happily and poured some sirup over her sister's food.

Meanwhile, Ichigo helped himself to some pancakes himself and poured loads of sirup over his snack. When he was about to start eating, he felt as if he forgot something... Something important. Then it came to him.

"Oi, I forgot to wake Rukia!" Ichigo said and ran upstairs to his room.

When he got inside he found Rukia already standing there and undressing. Ichigo blushed a tone of crimson and quickly turned around to give her some privacy. Out of the corner of his eye he saw his favorite Mod Soul crawl around on the floor so he bent down to pick up his friend.

"Oh Kon! You'll get yourself dirty! What's wrong with you?" Ichigo asked Kon and already started to carefully brush some of the dust off.

"Please Ichigo, can you tell Rukia to please change in her closet? It's so embarressing to see her without a top..." Kon mumbled and a bright red shade drew over his features. "Nee-san is so mean... She knows I don't like seeing people undress."

Ichigo placed Kon on the floor carefully and turned around to face the fully dressed Rukia. She stared at him (totally expressionless) and blinked several times, but all other signs of life left her body. Ichigo took a deep breath and took a big step towards her. When he finally managed to tower above her, she burped right in his face, causing him to step back again and stick out his tongue in disgust.

"Oh! Rukia! That was rude! Next time... At least cough brush your teeth." he said and looked at the she-devil.

She just turned around and headed for the door, but before heading out she turned around one more time, "Hurry up ya fool or we'll be late." and with that she stepped out of his room and slammed the door.

Kon stirred on the floor and tugged at Ichigo's pants to get his attention. Ichigo stared down upon feeling his friend's touch.

"She's moody again." Kon said and mentally added _Just like the last few weeks..._

Ichigo frowned at look at his door. "It's gonna be a looong day..." _Again._

* * *

Hmm... No, people, I am not mentally challenged. I AM aware that everything is totally oppposite and crazy. I KNOW! I know that this story is positively weird, but it has a chance. (Everything does, eh?)

So, please tell me what you think, I need a few good thoughts! Read and Review, I love reviews!

-Shiinji

P.S.: The next chapter is gonna be set at school, OK?


	2. Another long day

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, Tite Kubo does... Stealing his manga is a compliment though. Maybe if I tell him that, he'll give it to me? (sorry, I forgot the disclaimer in the last chapter. Apologies)

First of all, I would like to thank all my reviewers! You guys are great, I :heart: you people! I hope to see more reviews from you, and I shall write more based on your feed-back! So ARIGATO!!

So... Anyhow, here is the second chapter of "Those Who'll Never Be", set in the Karakura HighSchool! Enjoy.

* * *

It was 7:50am, leaving 10 more minutes of freedom to the students. They were either hanging out in front of school, bustling through halls or sitting in their classrooms.

Keigo Asano was sitting at his desk and took another look at his school utensils: His pens were at the ready, his homework in a neat pile on all of his other books. He lifted his head from his stuff and scanned the classroom carefully. No abnormally cheery people and no spiked orange hair. Ichigo wasn't here yet... In other words, the day would start of perfectly. He turned to his buddy, Mizuiro Kochima. He was a quiet guy, he wanted to be ignored by the world. He had a good reason too, he_ is _the ugliest guy in school. Scratch that... Ugliest guy in _the world._

"Hey, Mizuiro, where do you reckon Ichigo is? He's late for his standards..." He whispered to his friend. In return, Mizuiro just shrugged the question off. But the question soon answered itself...

"Keigo!" Ichigo called from the door and started sprinting toward his friend. The latter shot an alarmed glance toward Ichigo before standing up from his desk and planting his foot in his face. Ichigo fell backward and hit the ground, but quickly shot up again and looked at Keigo in a horribly dramatic way.

"You idiot, I told you to stop that incredible foolishness!" Keigo spat at his friend and turned around to sit down again. _Then again, no day is perfect..._

"Yo! Not cool man, not cool!" Ishida shouted from his desk. He had one foot on the table, the other hanging lazyly from his chair. His bling (with a big dollar sign pendant) was hanging from his neck and almost reached the floor. His square sunglasses were fitted perfectly on his face, and his hair was in braids. "'Gotta chill more, do it like me!"

Ichigo turned to his classmate and stared at him in awe. _Wow, Ishida-kun is so awesome!  
_

"Ishida-kun, stop showing off and get your filthy feet off the frikkin' desk!!" a loud mature female voice screamed from the other side of the classroom.

Ishida almost fell off his chair but caught himself just i time. He turned around (together with all his other classmates) and stared at the girl: Orihime Inoue. She stood there in full size and had her arms crossed over her flat chest. Her orange hair sat on top of her head in a messy heap. Behind Orihime stood a small black-haired girl, she was tugging at the orange haired girl's shirt, her face was a light red shade.

"O-O-Orihime, please sit down again. Everyone is staring at us..." Tatsuki mumbled to her friend. She looked up at Orihime who glared back at her. She shrieked and quickly sat down again, rewarded by a small nod from the small- (or no-) chested girl. Said girl turned her attention back to Ishida, who still looked startled by the incident.

"Orihime, please live Ishida-kun alone..." Chad mumbled. He sat curled up in a corner of the classroom, his knees to his chest. His body trembled a bit and he loked like he saw a ghost.

"Oh Sado-kun, did I really FRIGHTEN YOU THAT BAD!?" Orihime screamed in his direction. He flinched and pressed against the wall. Yes, Chad may be huge, but he was sure as hell wimpy.

"Chad-chan!" Everyone's attention turned to the door, a red-headed girl stood there, hands clasped together infront of her face. She adoringly at Chad. (who still sat in the corner and shivered in disgust) The girl ran to the yound man and embraced him tightly.

"Do ya' know you're so cute when you are scared?" Chizuru said and hugged him tighter before letting him go once more to turn to Orihime. "Good job scaring him!" she called and gave her a thumbs-up sign.

"Good morning Chizuru!" Ichigo shouted across the room and waved ecstatically at his classmate. She looked at him and puted a bit.

"You'de be cuter if you wouldn't be so... Happy all the time." she simply exclaimed. She waved him off and turned back toChad. (who looked absolutely lifeless next to the energetic Chizuru)

"Quit smothering the pure kid, can't you see his scared?" Orihime spat the words at her classmate as if they were poionous and could poison the girl.

"I so agree with the dudette here, gotta stop being so lame. Yo, why are you so-" Ishida stopped to think for a moment, but he was caught off-guard again when Orihime and Chizuru screamed at him.

"SHUT YER' TRAP!"

Rukia had her elbow on the table, her head on her hand. She rolled her eyes warily, sighed and closed her eyes. _Why am I here again?_

Ichigo looked at the people fighting in his class, listened carefully to the threats that were being shouted at one another and tried to dodge the desksthat _mysteriously _learned to fly... His prediction was right, it was going to be a long day.

* * *

Phew! Another chapter.

Hmm, I glad I got this done, considering the fact that I have writers block, a stack of homework that needs to be finished and a body that doesn't want to do what my brain tells it to do. (I wouldn't be surprised if I ended up drooling over the keyboard... Ew, what a mess)

So... I might have changed _a bit _of the characteristics... whistle Chizuru is halfways normal. Wait a moment, SHE LIKES GUYS NOW:-D

Anyway, please R&R, Read and Review! Thanks!  
-Shiinji


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